Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Old Age

Old Age, I decided, is a gift

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)



Love Ya'll

Thanks Edna


Cora from Nelia's Primitive Place said...

I just love it! Isn't it great when you just don't care anymore about what everyone around you thinks????? There is such a freedom in knowing who you are and being just that!

Thanks for posting this! It's wonderful!


YD's a little bit of everything place said...

Wonderful post! I came over from Farmhouse Blessings.
Isn't that how life is suppose to be? Just be yourself and life your life the way you want to live it(as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or it's not illegal).
I have learned and am still learning to not care about what other people think, as long as I know I'm doing the right thing for myself and/or for the family.

Juri said...

I have no doubt that anyone who is feeling like they are getting just a tad older will LOVE this post!!! I know I did...I found myself smiling as I read it, and nodding my head in agreement!


Lea of Farmhouse*Blessings said...


Love all the photos of your sweet family. They are precious.


This simple Life said...

Edna that is a beautiful post. I'm not "old" yet. Only just turned 30. But I found turning 30 to be liberating. I'm no longer one of the kids, and feel less pressure to conform. I am finding who am by being who I am.

The first few lines of your post really speak to me. May I copy and post them in my blog with a link to you in it?